Love (Part 2)

 1 Corinthians 13:5

It [love] is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

How do you measure up against this list?

I know I come up short on every one.

This verse could be summed up by saying, "Love is not selfish."  All of the attitudes listed here are birthed out of selfishness.  The interesting thing is when you see these qualities in other people: rudeness, self-seeking, easily angered, and keeping a record of wrongs, you can't stand it.  Those attitudes in others make you so angry.  Yet when you indulge them everyone is supposed to show you grace and give you the benefit of the doubt.

Imagine if you took this verse to heart just with the people you regularly claim to love- your family.  What if you stopped indulging the sinful selfishness which this verse exposes and stopped treating your spouse and children like this?  What if you actually loved (active verb) them with this definition of love?

Your life would drastically change if you started being considerate and stopped being rude.

Your life would be transformed if you started serving others and stopped seeking to serve yourself.

You would actually be respected if you exercised emotional intelligence and controlled your anger.

You would be set free if you stopped keeping a record of everyone else's wrongs.

Love is not any of these things.  If you are behaving this way towards anyone, you don't love them.  No matter what your mouth may claim...you don't.  

Which of these is your biggest weakness?  Fix it.  Start today to work on fixing it.  All of these attitudes are relationship killers.  You need to fix them because they are taking withdrawals from every one of your relationships everyday.  If you're not sure if you suffer from any of these ask the people around you.  Ask your spouse.  Ask your boss.  Ask your co-workers.  Give them permission to speak the truth and don't it take it personally.  Take it as feedback and let them know you are working to fix it.

How do you "fix it"?  Be intentional about fixing and building the most important relationship in your life: your relationship with Jesus.  Love is a fruit of faith.  You can't truly love other people if you are rejecting Jesus as your Savior.  

1 John 4:7-8

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

The way to build your relationship with Jesus is by reading and studying his Word daily.  Faith is created and strengthened through God's Word and the Sacraments (Baptism and Holy Communion).  To strengthen your faith you must be reading God's Word.  If you don't have faith in Jesus then you need to start reading God's Word (the Holy Bible) and be baptized so the Holy Spirit can work faith in your heart.  Only the Holy Spirit can change your heart so you can love like Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13.

This 1 Corinthians 13 love is the love that all Christians strive for, and all people long for because this is the way that God loves us.  He has demonstrated this love for us by offering his Son as the atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Jesus loves us so much that he paid the price that we all deserve when he died on the cross.

1 John 4:9-10

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Love (Part 1)

 1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Love is Patient

Are you patient?  With whom are you patient?  With whom are you impatient?

Patience is so important.  Patience shows consideration and understanding.  Patience requires humility.  The reason love is patient is because it looks at life from the other person's perspective.  It seeks to understand the other person instead of placing expectations on them.

Patience is essential in marriage.  Both spouses must practice patience constantly.  Impatience typically results in nagging and sarcasm, and both of these behaviors take gigantic withdrawals from the relationship.  Love is patient because it doesn't place unspoken or unrealistic expectations on the other person.  The patient husband recognizes that it takes his wife time to get ready to go...anywhere.  The patient wife realizes that her husband is slow to open up and express his feelings.  In these situations, and every other, both recognize that patience is key and it's worth it.  Saying nothing and waiting patiently doesn't necessarily make a deposit, but it absolutely does not take a withdrawal from the relationship.

Impatience is really born out of selfishness.  You have an expectation of someone else and you want them to fulfill it...NOW!  Impatience may not be a problem, in and of itself.  The problem is the behaviors that impatience gives birth to: temper tantrums, nasty and cutting words, sulking, sarcasm, and general selfish childish behavior.

Love is patient because patience recognizes that the relationship is way more valuable than the task.  Patience values people more.

The other relationship I want to address with patience is the Christian interacting with the non-Christian.  Many non-Christians have horrible stories of interactions with Christians who treated them in an unloving manor.  Love is patient here to.  This is another relationship where unrealistic expectations make people impatient.  

Christians cannot be so arrogant as to expect non-Christians to act and live in accordance with God's Word.  They can't.  They are spiritually dead.  Jesus did not call Christians to judge non-Christians with the Great Commission.  He has called us to us to be disciple makers with the Great Commission.  He has called us to share the gospel with those who don't know him and don't believe in him.  This requires love to be displayed through patience.

In order to share Jesus with an unbeliever you must patiently build a relationship.  This must be a real relationship.  You have to actually care about this person.  You build relationships by asking questions and seeking to understand the other person.  You don't build relationships by preaching at people and constantly pounding them over the head with the Law.  If you are patient and take the time to really get to know a person, the Holy Spirit will open doors of opportunity for you to share God's Word with them.  It's preferable, especially early on, to let the gospel predominate.  The Law can be used to correct bad behavior later on, but you should always error on the side of too much  gospel instead of too much Law.

When sharing Jesus with an unbeliever, be patient.  Trust that the Holy Spirit will work in his own time.  It's not your job to decide what that timing should be.  Love this person the Lord has placed in your life by showing them patience and understanding.

Love is Kind

Are you kind?  I'm sure you think you are.  Here's the best way to find out:  Ask the five people who are closest to you.  Do you want to change your answer?

Here's how dictionary.com defines a kind person: Having a friendly or generous nature or attitude.  Helpful to others or to another.  Considerate.  Humane.

Are you kind?  Love is kind.  

Maybe you're kind to the people closest to you: spouse, children, family, and friends, but what about the others?  Are you kind to people you don't really like?  Are you kind to strangers?  Are you kind to coworkers?

You can show love to people that you really don't like, because love is a choice.  You can be kind to them.  You can show them patience and grace.  You can stop complaining about them and gossiping about them.  That would certainly make you more kind.

Kindness can be difficult.  I know is for me.  If you have been selfish and self-serving your whole life it is very tough to become kind.  It's not impossible, but it is tough.  It starts by making the decision to start working on it.  You have to do things every day for somebody else to start changing your heart and making yourself more kind.  You have to humble yourself and stop being so arrogant.  Kindness comes when you truly start looking for ways to serve other people and not yourself.  When you develop a servant's heart you will be more kind.  When you truly start loving people you will be more kind.  Love is kind.

(It's okay to ask God to make you more loving and kind.  This may not happen over night so keep asking.)

Love Does Not Envy.  Love Does Not Boast.  Love is Not Proud.

Look at what love is not.  What do these three things have in common?

They are attitudes that are focused on self.  Envy, boasting, and pride are born out of arrogance.  They all demand that others take notice of me and serve me.

Envy comes from comparing yourself to others.  Instead of appreciating the gifts of others, you are intimidated by their gifts.  You thing that somehow their strengths make you look weak.  Envy is really a form of coveting.  You want what someone else has.  Love does not envy because envy destroys relationships.  Envy wants to win at all costs and it won't stop until it gets everything it desires.  Envy does not care about who gets stepped on along the way to it's own fulfillment.  Envy kills love because it is constantly in competition with everyone and seeks only self-agrandizement.  Envy is selfish.  Love does not envy.

Boasting and pride go hand-in-hand.  I'm sure we all have met the prideful person who is constantly talking about himself and boasting about his achievements (even if they were 50 years ago).  How long do you stay friends with a person who is a prideful boaster?  

You probably try to avoid them as much as possible.  Are people avoiding you?  Do you suffer from this disease, the disease of "It's all about me"?  Maybe you're like Ben Franklin and people actually cross to the other side of the street when they see you coming because they don't want to deal with you.  This can be literal or figurative (For Franklin it was literal.  It actually happened), but this is why pride and boasting destroy realtionships.  People don't want to be around arrogant, prideful boasters.

If this is you it's time to get over yourself.  It's time to stop talking about yourself.  It's time to stop comparing yourself to everyone else.  It's time to take your eyes off yourself and focus on someone else and thier greatness for a while.  Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

1 John 3:16-20

This is how we know what love is:  Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.  If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?  Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.  This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us.  For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Are You Protecting Your Family?

 Genesis 3:6-7

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.  She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Notice in this account, The Fall of Man, when Eve was being tempted to sin Adam was right there with her.  When she finally took the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil she didn't have to go searching for Adam.  He was close enough that she could just hand him some.  It seems that Adam was standing right there the entire time Satan was working to deceive his wife and lead her into rebellion against God.

Why would Adam just stand by and allow this attack on his family, on his wife?  

We don't have the answer to that question, but there is a similar question you can answer:  Why do you stand idly by and allow the world and Satan to attack your family?

Why don't you intervene?  Why don't you do something about it?  Why do you passively sit and watch as your family is attacked every day?

Odds are you have been lulled into complacency by the world.  You allow yourself to be distracted by all the shiny objects and empty promises Satan makes to you every day through marketing and social media.  You are too busy (distracted) to educate and arm yourself for battle.  You are right where Satan wants you: Dazed and confused!  You have given into the world's demand for a more feminized man.  You even try to justify your apathy by saying things like, "My family has the right to make up their own minds.  I don't have the right to tell them how to think and how to act."  

Once you start making idiotic justifications like this Satan has already conquered your family.  He has successfully deceived you into giving up your God-given call to leadership.  Leaders stand on truth.  They understand that there is only one source of truth: God's Word.  Truth is not subjective and open to an individual's feelings.  Leaders understand that they have to fight in this life because of sin.  It is not a sin to fight for your family.  It is not a sin to fight for what is right.  It is not a sin to fight against evil.  Anyone who has set themselves against Jesus Christ and his Word is evil.  You must fight their lies and defend your family against their constant attacks.  They want to drag your wife and children to hell with them.  You must fight for them!

Thankfully, Jesus fought for us.  He was not some wimpy little guy who shrunk in the face of challenge.  He ferociously confronted sinful behavior in society and aggressively defended the Holy Scriptures every time they came under attack by Satan's servants.  Thankfully, Jesus did this perfectly for us because he knew we would fail at it constantly.  We are forgiven for every time we fail to do this because of Jesus' perfect life and sacrifice on the cross.  He has payed the price for all of our sins and now empowers us to fulfill the commission he has given to each of us.  He even gives us the armor for the battle.  The only question is: Will you man up and get in the fight?

Ephesians 6:10-18

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but the against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Patiently Pursue Your Purpose

Luke 8:37-39

Then all the people of the region of the Gerasenes asked Jesus to leave them, because they were overcome with fear.  So he got into the boat and left.

The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away saying, "Return home and tell how much God has done for you."  So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.

This is the account of Jesus driving out the legion of demons from this man and sending them into a herd of pigs.  These verses, which end that account, are interesting to me for a couple of reasons:

First, the people witness this amazing miracle.  This man was so wild and out of control he was living by himself among the tombs.  The demons living in him were so powerful that when the people tried to chain him, he broke the chains.  It seems like the people of the area were terrified of him, but they had learned how to avoid him.  When Jesus drives out the demons and restores this man to being normal, the people are even more afraid of Jesus.  They recognize the power of the demons whom had taken possession of this man and realize that Jesus is even more powerful.  His power scares them so much that they ask him to leave.  Notice that Jesus doesn't argue with these people.  He just gets back in the boat to leave.  But if you notice, he isn't leaving them empty-handed.  He is leaving them with a testimony and an evangelist.

And we know that this man did his job well because the next time Jesus came to this territory, "...people recognized Jesus.  They ran throughout that whole region and carried the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was" (Mark 6:54-55).  Clearly Jesus knew what he was doing when he left this formerly demon possessed man behind to proclaim his testimony about Jesus to his village.

That brings me to the second point.  Once the man was healed, he wanted to follow Jesus and be a part his ministry team.  As we have seen, Jesus had other plans.  The man was eager to follow and serve Jesus so he called him to a ministry that only he could fulfill.  The people of the Gerasenes were afraid of Jesus and asked him to leave.  They weren't afraid of this man anymore.  The people were open to his testimony.  They weren't open to hearing Jesus preach to them.  Even though Jesus gave this man a different assignment than what he was looking for, he clearly grabbed ahold of it and told everyone he came into contact with what Jesus had done for him.

This is how it is in our lives sometimes.  We get an idea about how we want to serve Jesus, or maybe we get excited about an organization we would like to be a part of, but when we try to pursue that ministry the door is closed on us.  As with the demon possessed man from Genesaret Jesus isn't rejecting us.  He just has a different plan for us.  Unfortunately, we often aren't told right away what that plan is, like this man; but we can be confident that if we are patient God's plan for us will be revealed to us.  Because just like this man we may want a ministry position right now but Jesus knows better.  He knows how we can best serve him and he will open that door when it is time.

Psalm 37:4-7

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Why Are You Downcast, O My Soul?

 Psalm 42:5-6

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

My soul is downcast within me; 

therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan,

the heights of Hermon--from Mount Mizar.

Do you ever feel like this at times?  Do you ever wonder why you can't just be happy?

This is a tough place to be.  You can tell yourself, "Just be happy.  Stop being so depressed and grumpy," but that approach never works.  If you have ever been in the same place as this Psalm writer you know that it's not that easy.  You would like it to be.  People around you would like it to be.  But it just isn't.

Whatever you're going through that has put you in this emotional and spiritual funk just has to be gone through.  There is no short-cut.  You have to deal with whatever is causing this "spiritual depression" and learn the lessons along the way.  The problem that makes this so difficult to work through, and help others work through, is that no two situations are the same.  What triggers my soul to be downcast is not the same thing that triggers yours.  Therefore, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to working your way out of this funk.

I would love to be able to tell you how to snap out of it as soon as you recognize this onset, but I don't have that answer.  I have been battling this myself, on and off, since September.  There are good days, and there are not-so-good days.  There are days when I feel like I have made peace with my current situation, and there are days when I struggle hard because I am frustrated because I am so far away from where I want my life to be professionally and ministerially.  I am sure some of you reading this know exactly what I'm talking about.

The only way I have found to deal with this and keep searching for what's next is found at the end of the first paragraph of the Psalm above:  "Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."  I know that ultimately, this I why I am going through this struggle right now- God is drawing me closer to him.  I need to learn how to rely on him for everything and trust his plan, even when I can't see it.  Even when it doesn't make any sense to me.  I will trust it.  I will trust him.

Psalm 46:10-11

"Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

The best advice I can give you when you're struggling with a "downcast soul" is: Be in God's Word more.  Double the amount of time you spend reading Scripture everyday.  Double up your prayer life as well.  Bible reading and prayer is the best way I have found to deal with this situation.  

Finally, you need to act.  There is probably something that you know you need to do.  Do it!  Step out on faith and do it.  The more it scares you the more you need to do it.  Faith is displayed by our actions not our words.  If you truly trust God's love for you then you need to do the things you know you need to do. 

I know for me, this is typically what causes a downcast soul- I'm not doing the thing I know I need to be doing.  This leads to incredible frustration and depression.  I know I said above that their is no easy solution to this condition, but the best thing you can do is to start doing that thing you've been avoiding.  The thing you've been too scared to deal with.  That thing that you know would change everything for you.  Do it today and trust that God will bless it how he chooses.  Doing nothing will only make your funk worse.  Trust me.  I've tried that before too.  Doing nothing never makes anything better.

The Lord Almighty is with you.  Do it!

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Fear of Man is Dangerous

 Proverbs 29:25

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD will be kept safe.

The fear of man is a great roadblock for many people.  Worrying about what others will say, what they might think, or if they will approve keeps people living in fear and is an obstacle to accomplishment.  When you have a big decision to make in life, one that requires serious deliberation, what are the factors you consider as you think through your decision?  I am willing to bet that at some point you come to, "What will so-and-so say if I do this?", or "How will so-and-so react if I decide to make this change?"

There is nothing wrong with considering other people when making big life decisions, but fear of what they might say or do cannot stop you from making the right decision for you and your family.  No matter what decision you make someone will criticize you.  No matter what you accomplish in life someone will criticize you.  Guess what, criticism is the byproduct of doing something with your life.  That's why Solomon writes in the Proverb above that it's dangerous to let "fear of man" run your life.  It all comes down to one decision: Are you living for God, or are you living for your critics?

If you're living for God the only question that needs to be answered is, "How can I best serve Christ and his Church?"  This is what the second half of the verse is talking about.  When you have a big decision to make seek first to honor God and his will, and he will bless your decision however he sees fit.  It often ends up being even better than what you had envisioned.  Submitting to God's will is always the safe choice because he loves you more than anyone else can.  Submitting to man's will is dangerous and puts you at risk of living a meaningless life or doing something stupid that will ruin your life and possibly even lead you to hell.  Which option sounds better?

I understand that most decisions in life aren't that cut and dry.  We don't know the mind of God and it's futile to try to guess it.  The best strategy for making big decisions is to read God's Word everyday and pray about it.  Then after taking a reasonable amount of time to consider all the known aspects of the situation, make a decision.  Choose whichever option you feel allows you to serve Jesus best and you are confident is in line with God's will based on what you have been reading in Scripture.  The most important thing is to let God's Word be your guide, not the fear of man.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Quote of the Week: Building Your Mate's Self-Esteem

 Neglect Is Dangerous

When a spouse feels neglected and bored at home, he or she may seek excitement elsewhere.  One of the chief ingredients in extra-marital affairs is the fresh interest that two people express in each other.  Consequently, both become good listeners, and the competition is on again.

Too often people ignore those closest to them.  With the "prize" secured, they don't think of maintaining the strength of their relationships in order to keep the competition at bay.  Frequently they neglect their mates because they are selfish and it's the easiest thing to do.  But they are still competitive for their mates, or at least they should be.  If they do not focus on their mates, they leave the door wide open for others to come in and look around.  They lose by default.

(Dennis & Barbara Rainey, Building Your Mate's Self-Esteem, pp. 142-143)