It Was Not This Way from the Beginning

 Matthew 19:8-9

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.  But it was not this way from beginning.  I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Moses allowed the Old Testament Jews to divorce because their hearts were hardened to God's Word.  It was not this way from the beginning.  Divorce is a by-product of selfishness.  Selfishness is a by-product of sin.  When God created Adam and Eve there was no selfishness in the Garden of Eden until Eve listened to Satan.  It was ultimately selfishness that Satan used to lure Eve into sin and away from God.

When Eve listened to the devil, and then enticed her husband into sin, Adam and Eve's perfect marriage was ruined forever.  Their sin has damaged every marriage since then.  Now, the challenge for every marriage is trying to overcome sinful selfishness.  This is what Jesus pointed out to the Pharisees in this section of Matthew 19: Moses allowed them to divorce because of their hard-hearted selfishness.

People in our culture don't want to hear this anymore than those Pharisees did.  In America, and countries around the world, people selfishly throw away marriages every day.  Why is that?  It's because they have hardened their hearts to God's Word.  God created marriage.  He hates divorce (Malachi 2:15-16).

Marriage is a commitment.  Whether you're a Christian or not, marriage is a life-long commitment to another person.  This is why it is so important to choose wisely, and not rush into it.  When two people get married they are committing the rest of their lives to each other- for better, or for worse.  Guess what?  The "for worse" will come.  It's not a question of if it will come.  It's a question of when, and how often?

The storms of life are inevitable.  Sadly, too many Americans have created the habit of quitting in their lives.  Quitters quit everything.  It shouldn't surprise us that mothers quit on their pregnancies (abortion) when their parents quit on their marriage (divorce).  Quitting is the legacy of the Vietnam generation.  Quitting is a generational plague just like poverty.  Quitting is a learned behavior.  None of us is born a quitter.  The fact that we exist is evidence of that.  The sperm that fertilized that egg that ultimately became you had to compete with a million other sperm to get their, and get their first.  Nobody is born a quitter.

Unfortunately, our society-and especially schools- enforce the habit of quitting.  In a society that encourages people to just quit if it gets too tough, we shouldn't be surprised that people quit on their marriage.  People quit on themselves every day.

This is not how it was at the beginning.  God did not create people to quit.  Quitting is weakness that is a by-product of sin.  Quitting comes from a lack of faith in God and a weak character.  God did not create Adam weak.  He created Adam perfect.  This is why you can break the habit of quitting of it plagues you.  You can start today by apologizing to someone you have quit on in your life, and then commit to stop quitting.  If you have quit on a marriage, you can't go back and undo all the damage that has been done; but you can repent, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.  You can work to rebuild and repair those damaged relationships with your ex and especially with your children.

Thankfully, Jesus has given us the example of the perfect husband.  He loved his bride (the Church) so much that he sacrificed himself for her.  Jesus is the perfect, selfless husband.  He died to take the punishment for all of our sins of selfishness and quitting.  Jesus is the reason we have the power today to stop quitting and recommit to living the life that he has called us to live.  

Husbands: Love your wives as Christ loved the Church.

Wives:  Respect and submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

God wants your marriage to be a blessing.  God wants to bless your marriage.  Don't quit on it!

God bless

Jason Fredrick