Are you familiar with this saying? I don't know how much people use it anymore, but it is still a relevant "proverb". It was also true in Jesus' day:
Matthew 13:57
"Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor."
Jesus said this after he was rejected in his hometown of Nazareth. The problem the people there had was that they knew him. Many had known Jesus since he was a small boy. They knew his whole family. As far as they were concerned Jesus was just the poor son of a carpenter. Who was he to have wisdom, this great teaching ability, and the ability to perform miracles? The people who thought they knew him best had already written the script for his life. They weren't interested in him changing that script.
This is often true in our lives. People we grew up with have already defined in their minds who we are, and who we are going to be. Sadly, those people too often are family members or people who were once close friends. Typically, the people in our lives who most want us to be bound by how they have defined us are people who aren't doing anything with their lives. They aren't learning and growing daily. They aren't chasing their dreams. They aren't living the life that they want. Often, the people who are looking to place limitations on your life, hate theirs. Sadly, because those people in Nazareth were so interested in Jesus living down to their predetermined script they missed it when he revealed his true identity to them. They rejected him. They rejected the Son God, the promised Messiah.
This is the danger of "familiarity breeding contempt". When we are too familiar with someone, it can be easy to miss who they really are. We are blinded by our vision of who they have always been. This is one reason why it is so difficult to maintain life-long friendships and to stay married until "death do us part". Because when we know people well, we know all of their shortcomings, all of their negative traits, and even many of their failures.
There is a solution to help battle contempt: Love, Respect, and Appreciation.
Love people unconditionally. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Encourage them in every way. This is the quickest way to break the old lenses that you view people through.
Respect everyone as a special creation of God. Realize that everyone has the ability to learn, grow, and change...even if you're not. You don't have to agree with all the choices that people make, but you do need to respect everyone who makes choices. We need to maintain, at least, a basic level of respect for people who make bad or evil choices. How can we share Jesus with someone whom we don't respect or care about? 2 Peter 3:9 makes it clear that God wants all men to be saved and to come to repentance. All men even means the most evil of men. Those people that make our blood boil. Jesus died for them too.
Appreciation helps us focus on people's good traits. It helps us see the limitless possibilities for people. When we appreciate how gifted people are, we can easily see how they can accomplish all the big dreams they are telling us about. It isn't that hard to imagine them growing significantly from the person we knew years ago. Appreciation is what keeps our attitude right towards other people. It helps us avoid the trap of being judgmental and closed-minded towards them.
In Matthew 13:53-58 you can see how the people in Nazareth lacked these three attitudes toward Jesus. Sadly, if they would have embodied each, or even one, of these attitudes their life would have been significantly different. Verse 58 tells us because they all lacked faith, he didn't do many miracles there. What did they miss out on because of their fixed mindset? Ultimately, many of them have probably missed out on heaven. We can't know for sure because some may have come to faith after his resurrection, but look at the danger their fixed mindset about Jesus put them in.
This is the same danger that so many people face today. They have already made up their mind about who Jesus is, and have therefore rejected him. Sadly, because of their lack of faith like those people in Nazareth, they will end up in hell for all eternity. To reject Jesus is to reject salvation. No one comes to the Father except through Jesus. Leave your sinful notions of who Jesus is at the door, and come to him (in his Word) with an open mind and an open heart.
God bless
Jason Fredrick
