Key Elements of Being a Hungry Student, and a Wise Mentor

Proverbs 23:9

Do not speak to a fool, for he will scorn the wisdom of your words.

This statement is one that I have learned the truth of firsthand.  If you have ever tried to coach someone, or just give advice to someone who wasn't really interested in fixing their situation, then you also have most likely learned this firsthand.  This Proverb holds practical advice for both the mentor and the protege.

First, the protege is well to realize that he doesn't know everything.  That's the whole reason why he is mentoring with the person that he is.  I have made the mistake several times in my career of trying to coach someone who didn't actually want coaching.  They just wanted someone to listen to their complaining.  This is very frustrating, but it teaches  an important lesson:

Make sure that the person who has come to you seeking advice is truly seeking advice.  Complaining about a problem is not the same as seeking counsel.

Generally there are some tell-tale signs as to whether a person is genuinely seeking counsel or just looking for a willing ear for their complaining.  

• If your advice is being constantly contradicted, you are dealing with a complainer.
• If excuses are made why your advice can't be implemented, you are dealing with a complainer.
• If the individual is taking notes on what you are saying, you have a hungry student.
• If the individual is asking quality questions, you have a hungry student.
• If you refer books or audios and the titles are written down, you have a hungry student.
• If the person is trying to sell you on their excuses or line of thinking, you are dealing with a complainer.

On this point, the mentor should never presume to know everything about the situation.  A good mentor patiently asks quality questions to gain as full an understanding of the situation as possible.  Before giving any advice the mentor needs to ask enough questions in order to be able to make a proper diagnosis.  Mentoring should almost always begin with the mentor asking questions and the student talking.  It is only after the mentor has listened and gained an understanding of the situation is it his turn to talk.  The mentor who doesn't first listen is just as annoying as the student who doesn't listen.  Unfortunately, we have all probably experienced bad examples of this principle.  That's why it is so important for each of us to do this well.  We should all be a student and a mentor in different areas of our life, as well as at different stages of our life.

The hungry student is humble enough to learn the wisdom of the mentor.

The wise mentor is patient enough to learn who his student really is and to build that relationship.

No matter what your role is, keep reading, listening, and associating.  Always be voraciously learning and growing yourself.

The Lord bless you and keep you

Jason Fredrick