In Dale Carnegie's landmark book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Part 2 is titled, "SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU". The interesting thing is that 5 of those 6 things are all about listening. Here they are:
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Make the other person feel important- and do it sincerely.
Listening really is where leadership begins. A leader needs to be a skilled listener when he is talking to an individual, and he also needs to listen to what his organization is telling him. Dale Carnegie really does a great job of teaching the skills of listening in a one-on-one conversation to build personal relationships, so I am going to focus on the second point: Listening to what your organization is trying to tell you.
Listening begins with humility. In order to effectively listen to someone you actually have to believe they have something to offer or contribute. If you think you already know everything, you are going to suck at listening and you are going to miss a lot. A humble leader understands that everybody plays a part on the team, and everybody is valuable because they each bring a different perspective to the conversation. Humility gives the leader the patience to hear people out, and then reflect on what he's hearing. Humility keeps the leader from over-talking people and constantly forcing his ideas onto the team. Humility empowers the leader to recognize when his ideas are bad, and his master plan just isn't working. A leader has to be willing to receive feedback, good or bad, and then make the necessary adjustments. The leader cannot afford to disregard feedback for superficial reasons: academic credentials, how much he likes this person, where this person is from, etc. Humility really is foundational to effective leadership. The arrogant leader is on shaky ground; his faith/salvation is in danger, his relationships are in danger, and his team is in danger. Organizations implode when the leader becomes arrogant and controlling.
How does a leader stay humble?
The biggest way is by staying hungry. A hungry leader is a learner who is constantly growing. You cannot be a lifetime learner if you aren't humble enough to recognize that you still have more to learn. The "leader" who thinks he has nothing left to learn is no longer a leader; he has deteriorated into a manager. Sadly, too many corporate environments are plagued by this would-be leader- they are victimized by the dictatorship of the Command-and-Control Corporate Manager. Too often this little Hitler sits atop the pyramid, usually in the nicest office in the building.
The hungry leader recognizes the power of self-education. He is enthusiastic about developing the leaders that surround him. The hungry leader utilizes a leadership development system that he makes available to everyone. Leadership development isn't just for the elites of the organization. Leadership is for everyone. The hungry leader knows that everyone has the ability to learn and grow, and his best leader may be someone who isn't even on his radar, currently. The hungry leader remembers where he came from and how he had to intentionally develop all of his skills, even the God-given talents.
The hungry leader is constantly looking for educational opportunities and learning experiences. He is daily plugged in to a program of listening to audios, reading good books, and having quality conversations with a diverse group of people. The hungry leader mentors his leaders, and he also seeks out mentorship from men who have accomplished more and have gained more wisdom than he has.
Think of some of the top leaders that you know and I am quite confident that they possess these two attributes of being humble and hungry. Look throughout history and the same is true.
Here is a short list of the great leaders I have had the privilege of working with and serving under who personify these two qualities:
- Dr. Paul Steinberg
- Tony Grant
- Rev. Jonathan Schulz
- Ron Kelly
- Vicar Josh Rathje
- Michael Severson
- Joseph Kasper
God bless
Jason Fredrick
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