Fix Your Folly!

Proverbs 6:1-5

My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, if you have struck hands in pledge for another,

if you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth, 

then do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor's hands:  Go and humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbor!  

Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids.

Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.

In the NIV (1984), the title of this section is "Warnings Against Folly".  To start this section Solomon has made a list of bad choices that we are all susceptible to, and he warns against them.  He also graciously tells us how to fix the situation when we have wandered into one of these acts of folly.  Let's look at each one individually.

First, putting up security for your neighbor.  In our society this is commonplace.  People do this without even thinking about it.  This would be any variation of co-signing for a loan, or investing with someone where you could become financially liable for that business while having no oversight of that business.  When you do this you open yourself up to the repercussions of every bad decision that person makes. You can never be 100% certain of a person's character, or how they will respond if their plans fall apart.  When you put up security for someone you have just jeopardized your own financial security.  You have made yourself financially responsible for any, and every bad financial decision that they make.  If your neighbor defaults on that loan guess who the bank is coming after to get their money- the co-signer.  If your neighbor makes a bunch of bad business decisions and his business fails, guess who his creditors are coming after- every "investor" who took on any amount of liability.  In any relationship money changes things.

Second, striking hands in pledge for another.  This can be a tricky one.  This would be vouching for someone.  This is putting your character and reputation on the line to give someone else credibility and influence.  Have you ever given someone a reference or a referral?  The gamble with this is that you are putting your good name at the mercy of someone else's character and integrity.  Solomon says not to do it all!  At best, I would recommend being extremely cautious about whom you are vouching for.  I personally take it as an honor when someone will put their reputation on the line for me.  So I take that as a challenge to step up my game even more.  Unfortunately, not everybody takes that approach.  Too many people don't even think about how their performance reflects on every person who gave them a reference or referral.  That's why I said this is a tricky one.  You want to try to help people when you can by giving them a reference, but you also don't want to jeopardize your own reputation by endorsing someone who is prone to character failures.

Finally, if you have been trapped by what you have said, ensnared by the words of your mouth. This is the one that I have been most susceptible to much of my life.  This is speaking without thinking.  This is being so arrogant that you run your mouth about things that you don't have a clue about.  This is speaking without giving any thought at all to the feelings of the person with whom you are speaking to.  This is the folly that destroys relationships.  This is the best way that I know to get people to resent you and never want to be around you.

Here's how James, the brother of Jesus, explains it:

Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.  Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.  The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:5-6)

So, if you find yourself caught in one these three follies, how do you fix it?

Then do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbor's hands:  Go and humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbor!

You must recognize that you have made a mistake, or even sinned.  Then you must humbly approach your neighbor and work out how to rectify the situation.  If it's a contract that you need to get out of, then figure out how to get out of it legally.  If you've allowed someone to use you as a reference and you are no longer comfortable with that, go talk to him and explain why.  If your mouth has gotten you into trouble, apologize and beg for forgiveness.  

Press your plea!  Don't leave until you have come to a satisfactory solution or conclusion to the mess that you have created.  Solomon says to not even sleep until the matter has been resolved.  This is how you resolve conflict, or potential conflict, that you have created.  You have to take responsibility.  You have to address it head on.  Protecting yourself against the damage of folly is a High Importance, High Urgency task.  Nothing else matters until you have remedied the folly that you have fallen into.

This takes courage, but if you humble yourself and lead with God's Word you can fix your folly.

God bless

Jason Fredrick