Generational Fatherhood

Proverbs 4:3-4

When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live."

This proverb was most likely written by King Solomon.  So who is the father that he is speaking about here?  King David.  Now, most of our fathers are/were not King David, but we can take some parenting lessons from both David and Solomon that are laid out for us here to bless our sons, as well as our fathers.

First, let's look at the generational inference here.  Proverbs 4 specifically, is King Solomon teaching his son the wisdom that he learned from his father.  How many of us can say that this is how we have gained any of the wisdom that we have?  I don't say this to be harsh.  The point is that this is an aspect of the ancient cultures that we are badly missing in America.  Americans do not think generationally.  How can we?  We are trained to think short-term, instant gratification.  That's not to say that we all haven't learned something from our fathers.  I am confident that most fathers try to pass on the life lessons that they have learned to their children, especially their sons.  The point is that King David was the king of the most powerful nation in the world in his day and he took the time to personally teach his son.  Then Solomon followed that example:  as the king of the most powerful nation in the world he took the time to teach his son the wisdom that was passed down to him from his father.  Author Olive Demille asks the question this way, "When is the last time you did something hard for the sake of your grandchildren, or great-grandchildren?"

As Christians, we need to model David and Solomon on this and start thinking generationally.  As fathers, we need to be passing on the wisdom of God's Word to our sons- even to our young sons.

Secondly, David and Solomon both passed on this wisdom to their sons personally.  They didn't rely on schools to take care of their fatherly duty.  This is another aspect of the rebellious American culture that turns my stomach.  We have been so dumbed down by conveyor-belt schooling that fathers don't even feel qualified to do this anymore.  And that's understandable:  they don't read, they're addicted to entertainment, and they haven't opened their Bible since their confirmation.  Why would they feel qualified to fulfill this duty of fatherhood?  I would contend that most Christian fathers don't even understand that they are supposed to be doing this.  Nobody has taught them what it means to be a Christian man, forget about what it means to be a Christian husband or father.  So where is the church in all of this?  Isn't this the main job of pastor teachers:  to teach Christians how to live as Christians?  Why is the church not falling all over itself to teach Christian men what it means to be a Christian man?  Why is the church not equipping Christian men with the skills to be men, husbands and fathers?  What are our pastors so busy with that is so much more important than this?  If the church would focus on this one thing much of the other business of the church would be taken care of.  Maybe the problem of learning this lesson from men like David and Solomon is that those men totally lacked the academic credentials to be taken seriously.  What could men who lack a bachelor's degree or a master's degree possibly have to teach us? Losers.

Can you even imagine what the church would look like if fathers actually took full responsibility for the education of their children?  That dream is one that gets my heart pumping!

I will finish with a story from today:

Driving home from church today my son and I somehow got on the subject of him getting married.  He's only 6.  I made the point that he would probably get married much younger than Heidi and I were when we married (we were in our mid-30's).  He didn't understand why that would be.  So I explained to him how he is going to be better equipped than I was at a young age to be married.

I explained to him how he won't have to worry about finding a pretty wife, his wife will be beautiful- just like my wife.  We talked about how when the time comes we will identify what characteristics he will need to look for in a wife.

His response, "A believer."

Men:  You cannot wait until your sons are 18 to start having these conversations!  How can your sons "lay hold of your words with all their heart" if you aren't giving them anything to lay hold of?  It is time to reestablish Biblical manhood in our churches, and then the culture.

God bless

Jason Fredrick